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Showing posts from February, 2013

Turmoil Beneath the Ashes

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What happened with me this morning was another proof to me personally that the renowned Orthodox Electoral Law was nothing but an obvious manifestation of the local mentality most of the Lebanese are still holding on to, unknowingly, especially the previous generation, the ones that were my age during civil war. In the course of looking for a housing in Beirut, I came across an online advertisement for a small apartment in Ashrafiyeh with two bedrooms, which is generally my preference since that would cheapen the rent and of course I'd enjoy the company. That phone call left me traumatized for a while after I hung up: the weight of the shock was actually insurmountable, especially after all the reforms people I know are trying to make, and of course after all the positive energy me myself and other activists are trying to spread. I just couldn't stand that someone, that naive, would actually ask me such a question. I leave you with the discussion: "Me: Hello, I just f

The Death of Laurent Schwebel

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An email found its way to my inbox, with a PowerPoint presentation attached, seemingly having photographs inside, in a way to remember the great photographer Schwebel who was stabbed lately in Buenos Aires, while taking snapshots of a local memorial. Such emails are easily thrown into the garbage bin usually, but the familiarity of the photographer's name was the reason I opened the presentation: And what a shock that was! Firstly, here's a translated extract of the Swiss Grandes Espaces  on the latest incident: Wednesday morning, February 8, 2012, Laurent Schwebel, 52, was stabbed to death by a thug who stole his camera in the center of Buenos Aires. The murderer, 24, was chased by witnesses of the drama, and apprehended by the police. Lawrence returned from Antarctic trip with Christian Genillard, and rejoiced to discover the Iguassu Falls before returning to his Alsace. More on the incident is found here . Laurent Schwebel You might be wondering why would I

Decent Everything

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The article below was triggered by a recent conversation I had with a friend lately. Those few lines were enough to surface a large amount of hatred, anger and despair as well, that were all hidden for as far as my parents' divorce 10 years ago. Here's part of what he had to say upon me asking him what he would do in times he felt down: - I get very irritated and feel like breaking down or curl against a corner and just sleep on it (dysthymia). Its nothing new but i've been coping for years and recent events were a catalyst for more depressive episodes. - Do you ever tell anyone about this? Or at least do you have anyone by your side? - I only have a therapist to work with. Besides that, i have no familial or social support. They just don't understand. - what do you think would've prevented this phase? what do you wish of having around that you'll be sure would help you out? - A decent family. A decent society. A decent everything There is no do

Bus Station Meat Loaf

I am growing up, I used to fiercely fight the urge to grow up but somehow I'm being constantly beaten by my own ego, my own character. I am growing up no matter how hard I try. I am getting more tired and exhausted than I was 3 years ago. I began to take the most obvious things to wonder about, for granted. I am starting to let go of the small things I used to do in order to laugh. I am losing so many friends in the process, and most importantly both the woman who brought me to the world and the woman in whose lap I was supposed to rest for the rest of my life. I lost them. No matter how much I tried to fix the problems i apparently helped in creating, I still find myself unable to recuperate what I could from my childhood and innocence, my calm thinking and my passive take on life, a striking feeling of wanting to buy something, a feeling of arrogance kicks-in here or there. I am becoming an egoist, a stupid being full of arrogance. To prove that, count the "I"s in thi

Anonymous Confessions, The Epilogue

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Source:  Original Article The Last Confession was the straw that broke the camel's back: What I started on my previous post  was phenomenal, it was pretty obvious that I had to document it. If you're still unfamiliar with what I'm talking about, check the Anonymous Confessions blog post; I had announced I want to play a game, based on the work of an american artist. Source:  Anonymous Confessions The thread of confessions started out with the following: "I still love her" "İt hurts not to see him" "I do care about what people think of me" Several anonymous persons decided to join later on, upon seeing the first feedback, and thought it might be a good idea to throw in their own confession, since, in the end, everything was totally anonymous. The majority spoke of relationships, parents, self esteem, aspirations, and unfinished love stories. Until the last guest posted their comment : "Confession 1: I wish I can help everyone who